2004 Bush Economic Recovery
Employment Application
Name
Date of Birth
Social Security #
What is the highest level of education you've completed?
Advanced degree
Bachelors degree
Associate degree
High school diploma or equivalent
Harvard Business School, sort of
What is your current citizenship status?
U.S. Citizen
U.S. Permanent Resident
Temporary Work Visa (Years:
)
Illegal Alien - Mexican or Central American (That's cool...)
Illegal Alien - Middle Eastern or North African (That's not cool...)
Why did you leave your previous job?
Downsized due to recession
Job outsourced to overseas contractor
Was a teacher or police officer hired during the Clinton Administration
Was employed by Enron, Worldcom, Tyco, or Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia
Punched out my pinko, bed-wetting, commie liberal boss (wink, wink)
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
No
(Also select this box if you were convicted of a "white-collar" felony like securities fraud, wire fraud, embezzlement, insider trading or lying to Congress)
Yes
If "yes" please explain:
(Was it so bad that you can't even lie about it?)
Where would you prefer to work in your new job?
Wal-Mart
Starbucks
Taco Bell
Krispy Kreme
Department of Homeland Security
Please indicate your starting salary requirements:
$16,000 per year
$30,000 per year
$50,000 per year
$80,000 per year
What is the earliest date that you would be available to begin working?
Wed, Nov 3, 2004
Mon, Dec. 3, 2004
Some time in early 2005
Don't really want a job, but have to apply for something to keep my parents off of my back
Are you one of those whiny, populist types who goes around rabble-rousing for things like health care and paid parental leave?
No
Yes
(Why don't you go ask Howard Dean for a job, comrade?)
Please explain any other relevant considerations that you believe make you particularly well-qualified for a new job in the 2004 Bush Economic Recovery: